Dinner: Bistro on the Avenue

Bistro on the Avenue
1362 Greene Avenue, Westmount
(514) 939-6451

Okay. So I went to the Bistro on the Avenue with another friend. We'll call her La Española. Let me try to jump straight into this review without much preamble about why I got together with La Española on this particular night. The first thing that I noticed is this restaurant is very...well...anglo. There's really nothing wrong with a restaurant having a distinctly anglo vibe about it, and there's nothing wrong with being anglo in general, it's just that the ambient noise in the Bistro is really more of a din if you catch my drift. Just pointing that out for those of you who like to know that kind of thing.

So, my friend and I dined among many people decked out in shades of navy blue and wire-rimmed glasses. They were a very nice, very "send you a drink without compelling you to actually speak to them" kind of crowd. I like that. It lets me focus on the person with whom I'm actually there to speak.

Our waitress was a very nice lady. She stopped by periodically to see if we were ready to order without seeming like she was trying to rush us. It did take us quite a while to choose our meals. The Bistro offers the kind of menu where everything looks good, but nothing really jumps out at you. They serve a variety of baguette sandwiches, which come with fries, salad or half and half. There is the usual "meaty" fare like filet mignon, lamb and veal. There are three or four salads to which you can add spiced chicken, shrimp or a filet of fish. There is lobster. There is crab. See what I mean? It all looks good, but none of it looks interesting.

We both had the Boston salad with spiced chicken, mushrooms and vinagrette. It came in, like, five seconds. Wow! Do they just have piles of salad plates ready in the back? Were they eavesdropping? Was there a betting pool for the person who correctly predicted what both of us would order? Because I was thisclose to ordering the sirloin baguette, so I almost screwed up the pool.

Well, for a minute-salad it was pretty good, although, not great. The vinaigrette wasn't overbearing, the chicken was spiced...but not hot. The mushrooms tasted nice. The lettuce was fresh. For dessert I had the chocolate torte with a nice, light whipped cream. Ya know, the torte was pretty good. Very chocolatey. All in all, it was not an offensive meal.

I had a selection of drinks as well: a ginger ale to start (my tummy was feeling wonky), a glass of the house white wine with my meal, and a glass of porto for the digestif. Now, some of you may ask, what kind of porto did you have? Well, the answer to that would be: I don't know. You see, this being the kind of place where they "send you a drink without compelling you to actually speak to them,"someone did just that. The waitress came over to us and said, "A man at the bar would like to offer the two of you a digestif." Now, La Española and I are not really drinkers, so we didn't know what to get. The waitress suggested porto, so we took it. I must tell you that we stressed quite a bit after agreeing to take the drinks. This guy, who we'll call "Jim," apparently knew one of us from a few years back, at least according to the waitress. Huh? Sure, we've met a Jim or two, but no one who sticks out in our minds. Also, the ladies out there will know that sometimes when a guy sends you and your friend a drink it is problematic since you don't know if this guy is cool, or if he thinks this is his ticket to bedroomville, which it usually is not. Anyway, this being an inobtrusive environment, "Jim" merely bid us a good night and promptly left. Good. Problem solved. Oh, and "Jim" apparently knew La Española from a few years back. She, unfortunately, did not remember him.

I think that little anecdote quite succinctly sums up my experience at the Bistro on the Avenue: nice, but it just doesn't stick out in my mind. Knowing myself, I might just forget I've even been there. Three stars.

Kisses,
Laurelle


Price: $70 for two with tax & tip.

Brunch: Le Toaster

Le Toaster 1310 Laurier E. (514) 526-5111

First, I'd like to mention that Le Toaster has been smoke free since February 2004. Thus, regardless of what I write below, I proudly support Le Toaster. Now, if someone could let me know what colour ribbon I am supposed to wear that would be much appreciated.

Now, this past Sunday, August 20th, 2005, my friend, La Montrealaise française, and I were supposed to have brunch at Savannah yet again (review to come eventually). Unfortunately, as we approached the doors bravely without a reservation, we came upon the following notice.

"Savannah will be closed this Sunday, August 20th, 2005, only."

Or something to that effect. Crap. And I had worn heels thinking that all I'd be doing is lounging around feasting upon pecan waffles and reading people's tarot cards. Now la française and I were faced with the daunting task of walking to another restaurant that serves brunch while starving. Unfortunately, neither of us were in the mood to go to l'Avenue du Plateau, a place that I had frequented obsessively nine Sundays in a row.

But, aha, la française had an idea. Let's go to Le Toaster, a restaurant that we had often walked past on our way to Laurier pool and which had always been closed whenever we were in the area.

So, heels and all, we trudged over and up to the corner of Laurier and Chambord where we promptly encoutered a scary lineup. Double crap. Knowing full well that the line would be worse at l'Avenue we bit the bullet and got in line as we watched the waitstaff clear a table for some lucky twosome at the front of the line. Waiiiittt a second, what did he say? We are the only table for two in line? I liked Le Toaster already.

Before really getting into the meat of the review, I'd like to point out the highlight of the meal: the juice. There are four juices on the menu (orange, apple, pear, grapefruit) and, if I recall correctly, three juices (maybe more) that can be added to those (kiwi, strawberry, banana). I selected a mix of pear and kiwi juice. Maybe it wasn't the best mix to choose, but I was very happy to have that option available to me.

Now, I can be verbose, so I'm going to try to be brief. The food at Le Toaster is okay. Just okay. I had the Campagnard omelette which consisted of eggs, ham, asparagus, cheese and bechamel sauce. Let's just say the bechamel sauce could have been more saucy and less jelly. I just prefer a more liquidy sauce. Also, I'm a fan of chefs who season their eggs. I like spices. Eggs alone are okay, but seasoned eggs are better. Usually, the omelette filling doesn't do the job vis-a-vis seasoning the eggs. The meal came with red baby potatoes (which they called frissolées), fruit (kiwi and orange), and toast. Again, the potatoes were alright, maybe even slightly undercooked. Whatever, I guess they're in a rush. There was, after all, a growing line outside.

Let me add that we were seated at the (open) window. This was cool, especially whenever a nice breeze decided to stop by. Unfortunately, the people in the line kept looking at our food. I can't blame them, I may have done the same.

One of the benchmarks of a really good brunch is the quality of their regular cup of joe. This coffee was a bit too strong and bitter, and not in a good way. I still drank it though.

In the end, Le Toaster was okay. The staff is very friendly. My meal cost me about $20. Frankly, I've had a better brunch for less elsewhere. But, I'd try this again in a pinch.

I say 2 1/2 stars.

Love and kisses,
Laurelle

Brunch: Le Vaudeville

So...I suppose I'd better introduce myself.I am Laurelle St. Laurent. I like good food. I like fashion. I like politics. I absolutely abhor bad service. I get extremely offended when I am served very bad pasta for $20 (coughbuonanottecough).

My reviews will be absolutely gushing when I like the place and absolutely scathing when you try to pass off a stinking pile of garbage as good food. Don't expect any enlightening reviews about wines and spirits from me. I don't really drink. I have about three drinks a year and that only started about three weeks ago. You know what? I take it back. Even though I don't like alcohol very much, if I develop a favourite, I'll letcha know.

Also, don't expect regular updates from me. I'm writing a thesis about social anarchy, so I'll be busy giving academia the big FU by discussing very unpopular socialist practices. Ooh, that wasn't very nice. Sorry. Right...

So, I figured I'd start the place off with a review of one of my favourite places to have brunch. Actually, I'll go to brunch with ANYONE. Literally anyone. So, if you live in Montreal, or if you'll be in Montreal, drop me an email and I may actually spend some time with you between the hours of 11am and 1pm on a Sunday morning. You know...a little morning banter over some batter and pecans.

Le Vaudeville
361 Bernard O.
(514) 495-8258

About 2 years ago, gourmetMama and I (before she was a Mama) decided to stop by the very inconspicuous Le Vaudeville, which is located just west of Parc Avenue but was surprisingly hard to find. We were greeted at the entrance by George, this great guy who runs the place. He immediately gave us a great seat - not to hard to do since the place was empty - and we proceeded to check the place out. It is totally white, y'all. No really, it is a very comfortable and cozy place without being messy and sloppy. I guess you would call that French country chic. It is the kitchen I would have at my fabulous home in the country side where I would greet friends from across the way in my angelic and flowy BCBG "morning dress" as I suggest that "Jean-Claude" whip us up one of his fantastic creations.

But I digress. This fantabulous reverie was interrupted by the first of many pleasant surprises wrought upon us over the course of the meal. Bread pudding. But not just any bread pudding. It was moist and draped in a curtain of cream. Just the right amount of "not too sweet." Yum. Sorry, I'd give more detail, but I was too busy gobbling it down. At the same time George reappeared and asked us if we'd like orange juice or passion fruit juice. We tried both. He also offered us coffee or tea. We both chose coffee. Suddenly, I realized that while we were gulping down the bread pudding, George had placed our "bread basket" on the table. By "bread basket" I mean "cornucopia of baked goods." Really - there were chocolate croissants, regular croissants, muffins, cookies, apple turnovers. The works. We dug in and made the mistake of stuffing ourselves right then and there, sopping up the leftover cream with the turnovers.

Let me point out that we hand't even ordered yet. No menu.

Finally, George brought the menu. Now, it seems that if you order something - like, breakfast - all the stuff that came before is free. If you don't, then you pay $9.50 for the "continental breakfast." Being the greedy little pigs that we are, we ordered more food.

We both chose the eggs benedict. The eggs benedict was regular eggs benedict with fruit and a potato croquant or something. Honestly, I've had better eggs benedict elsewhere, but these were pretty good. Frankly, I returned many times and ordered it over and over again. I've also since ordered the normal breakfast and the fritata. I'd say the fritata is their topnotch dish. However, when I order a normal breakfast - consisting of eggs, bacon, sausage, fruit and the potato croquant - I always get my eggs scrambled. I have no idea what's in their scrambled eggs, but they are really good. Maybe it's cheese? I don't know, I'm not a cooker but an eater (well, I cook sometimes).

Whatever, somewhere along the way George gave us the philosophy behind Le Vaudeville. He said that he wanted to offer affordable food without skimping on the ambiance. I say he has fulfilled his goal. It is a really comfortable place to relax on a Saturday or Sunday morning and I always get a warm hug from George. I love that. People should hug more.

Okay, so let me fess up that gourmetMama, moléman, schadenfreude and I have not yet discussed any kind of rating system for our reviews. Frankly, it's been a harrowing task just to get this going, even though all we really did was vote on a name and register a blog. Regardless, I'm just going to say that top restaurants will get 5 stars and crap ones will just be called a waste of time and space. If the others don't like it, I suppose they'll let me know at gourmetBaby's first birthday party tomorrow.

So, I'm giving Le Vaudeville 4 stars. Don't worry, I've got plenty of retchable restaurants to trash, so stay tuned.

Love and kisses,
Laurelle